


Soulmates

by JustAnotherFool



Category: Naruto
Genre: First Dates, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, KakaIru Valentines Week 2021, Light Angst, M/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:01:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29319798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAnotherFool/pseuds/JustAnotherFool
Summary: Kakashi always felt he didn't deserve a soulmate. Everyone who ever loved him died after all.Things get a bit different once he finds out who his soulmate is.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka
Comments: 14
Kudos: 187
Collections: KakaIru Valentine's Week 2021





	Soulmates

**Author's Note:**

> Made for the Kakairu Valentine's Week 2021!
> 
> Day 2: Soulmates.
> 
> Although you can fit it a little bit in "first date" and "friends to lovers" too. Which is good 'cause I don't think I'll try to write anything else. But this one was fun!
> 
> Check the event out on [Tumblr!](https://kakairu-rocks.tumblr.com/)

Soulmarks appeared around six or seven years old. But it was not as exciting as one could imagine: as much as the tropes of 'first words they say to you', 'a cool mark where they first touch you' or even 'matching marks' or 'their favorite thing tattooed on your skin' were popular in books and films, the reality was far less thrilling.

Words appeared on your forearm, but not the first ones they would say to you. No. The words that appeared were the ones they would say the moment they realized they loved you. It didn't even have to be words they say _to you_. You could very well never get to hear the words yourself, if whoever your soulmate is realized it when by themselves.

All in all, soulmarks weren't that important. They were not reliable and, even if they were, they just made sense when your soulmate _already_ loved you. Not that helping at all. Sure, children loved seeing the words and tracing their little fingers over them, and teachers took advantage of that to teach them proper spelling, reading, writing and calligraphy. Nothing made a kid work harder at writing something right than copying the words on their forearms over and over again.

Adults, on the other hand, mostly ignored them. Sure, some helpless romantics (cough, cough, Gai, cough) still clung to them like a lifeline, but most people just kept going about their lives and never seeking them out. Let life that its course and everything.

Kakashi avoided his like the plague.

It hadn't always been like this. As a child, he liked to daydream about his soulmate as much as his peers. Things got different when his father died though. Grief settling in, chilling his bones and washing away his childlike hopes. Things only got worse when his team died, when he saw Obito be crushed and failed on his only promise, failed to keep Rin safe. Then their sensei died too and he was alone.

He didn't deserve love. He didn't deserve a soulmate.

And a bitter and irrational part of him reminded him that everyone who loved him _died_. He'd be doing his soulmate a favor if he never met them.

* * *

People thought Kakashi was being stubborn or proud when he refused to go to the hospital after a dire mission. He wasn't. Well, not totally.

When he was a kid, the words on his forearm sounded odd yet funny.

_Of course he'd try to shrug off a stab wound, the idiot._

Like, him? Getting stabbed then just walking away? Sure, little Kakashi knew first hand how a ninja's life could be rough, but the idea was so foreign and ridiculous. He'd never ignore something so drastic!

Also, it sounded like a funny thing to say when you love someone. Didn't sound affectionate at all.

He was glad for it when he grew up. Maybe his soulmate wouldn't be burdened with loving him (sure they would like Kakashi a bit, but maybe not _love_ him). And maybe Kakashi wouldn't even be present to hear it, since the sentence wasn't adressing him.

Still, he didn't want to take any chances. So, since Kakashi can remember, he stitches up his own stab wounds. Avoiding getting stabbed also helped, but it was near impossible in fights with shurikens, kunais and the ocasional sword.

He figured whoever his soulmate was, they must work at a hospital or be a medical nin. So he avoided both. Seemed like the best course of action.

* * *

It was just another day. A common, boring day. Kakashi was waiting in line to hand in his mission form (he was still scribbling some things on it as he waited) and could barely wait to be done with it, so he could drop dead on bed. The last mission was a nasty one and he had barely washed the blood off his face before coming here.

Sure, he could procrastinate it, as he ever did, but now he had five old mission reports still blank and an increasingly annoyed Iruka who chewed him out for it. So he decided to drop the habit and actually hand in this one as soon as possible.

His whole tired body complained about this choice, though.

"I can't accept it," Iruka said with a thinly-concealed scowl.

"Why not?!"

"Well, for starters, you're still writing it," Iruka gestured to Kakashi still scribbling on the form, using the desk for support, "go home and rest a bit, Kakashi. You can give me the report tomorrow," wow, Kakashi thought, he should look really deplorable if Iruka missed the opportunity to reprimand him.

He didn't recall when Iruka went from calling him "jounin-san" to "Kakashi", maybe sometime between their quarrels about what an acceptable form was, but it always made his heart skip a beat. A silly little crush, but Kakashi allowed his heart this treat. It's not like he'd ever act on it anyway.

"Yeah, maybe I should," Kakashi concedes, too worn out to complain. A shame really, he wanted to see Iruka smiling at him for handing in a report in time for once.

He manages to walk away two steps before Iruka calls him again, scowl deepening and something too akin to concern on his voice.

"Kakashi, you're _bleeding_."

"Oh, that?" He look at the growing blood stain on his vest. It didn't seem too serious in the fight, and he could barely feel it over his generaly aching body, "yeah, I just came from the mission, I'll take a look at it at home," he smiled, trying to look reassuring despite the mask covering most of his face.

"Fine," there was a finality to his tone. Kakashi thought it'd be the end of the conversation.

Than Iruka called someone to cover for him and, in less than a minute, he was up and grabbing Kakashi by the hand.

Kakashi made a mental note that Iruka was fast and could move pretty silently when he wanted to. The blush on his face hidden by the mask.

"Uh, you don't have to—"

"I do," Iruka cut him with his best non-nonsense voice, "since you _clearly_ can't be trusted to prioritize you own well-being, and I'm sick of watching it after every mission of yours."

He let Iruka half-guide half-drag him, not even bothering to keep track of where they were going until he sees himself being pulled inside Iruka's apartment.

* * *

"I know it's a mess," Iruka didn't sound apologetic in the slightest, "but it'll have to make do," he gestured for Kakashi to sit on the sofa, throwing some things on the floor to make space, and went to fetch a first-aid kit in the bathroom.

Kakashi took a moment to took everything in. The papers and books thrown everywhere, a few take-out packages littering the floor, the clothes scattered around. It was not dirty, just messy, which made sense with how much work Iruka had between teaching kids and scolding jounins. He probably didn't spend that much time here. Enough to make a mess, but not enough to tidy it properly.

Still, it felt homey. Warm and safe.

"Shirt off," Iruka came back, a serious expression, and motioned to his blood-soaked vest.

"Maa, sensei, at least pay me a dinner first," Kakashi joked, attempting to both lighten the mood and conceal his own nervousness. Iruka didn't seem impressed.

"Fine, fine," he took his shirt off, it landed with a wet _thump_ on the floor.

Iruka's eyes widened for a sec before he recomposed himself.

"I can't believe you decided to wait on a line to hand me a half-written form after you got _stabbed_ ," Iruka sighed, pouring antiseptic on the wound without a warning, "whoever let you graduate in Academia is a moron. You have no sense of self-preservation. Or common sense," he admonished.

Kakashi winced at the sudden sting of antiseptic, but accepted the scolding. It was fair enough. Despite the harsh words, Iruka's hands were gentle when he started stitching him up.

"It was not really stabbing, just a tiny hit. With a kunai," He said nonchalant. Maybe Iruka would give it less importance if he did too, "I've had worse."

"I don't doubt it," Iruka didn't look at him, his eyes on the task, "And most people call 'a hit with a kunai' stabbing," he said wryly.

Ouch.

When Iruka was finished with the stitches, he put some ointment over the wound and dressed it. Kakashi insisted it was more fuss than it was worth.

"Just lie down and get some rest," Iruka sighed, "I'll fetch you some pillows and a blanket. Don't you dare getting up,"

"Really, you don't have to. I'm fine, I can go and sleep in my own house."

"I want to," and there it was, the finality to his voice that made clear not even the Hokage could get Kakashi out of that couch, "now stop being stubborn for a second and sleep."

Kakashi complied (what other choice did he have, really?) and Iruka made sure to get him comfortable, a pillow under his head, another one supporting his sore legs and a fluffy, warm blanked tucked snugly over him.

Kakashi was drifting off to sleep when he heard Iruka muttering to himself.

"Of course he'd try to shrug off a stab wound, the idiot."

Kakashi heart raced a bit, the too familiar words sounded weird now that he actually heard it. He'd have fled if he wasn't so comfortable and on the brink of sleep.

His last thought was that he was wrong about his soulmate not liking him that much. He'd never imagined someone could say "idiot" in such a fond, loving tone.

* * *

Kakashi's half-baked plan of avoiding Iruka didn't even have a chance to be properly formed. It'd be a nigh impossible task when he woke up on Iruka's sofa, covered in Iruka's blankets, inside Iruka's house and with a very nonchalant Iruka sat on the floor near him with a new take-out bag on his lap.

"Oh, good, you're awake," he said, putting his food down, "Hungry? I bought some ramen."

"I— Ah," he said eloquently, "no, you shouldn't have bothered. I'll— I should head home now. Finish all that late reports and everything," he all but stumbled while trying to get up.

There was a faint, amused smile on Iruka's lips.

"That's okay, Kakashi, calm down," he handed him a bowl of ramen, "you can run away and never look at me again after you eat," his voice was even. It didn't sound like a joke nor a reprimand.

Kakashi accepted the chopsticks offered to him and they ate in silence. there was still a bundle of warm blankets on Kakashi's feet and the sofa was more inviting than it had a right to be.

Iruka didn't look bothered at all for the silence. His face was unreadable, as if he already expected it.

Wait—

"You knew!" Kakashi accused, pointing a finger at him.

"I knew what?" Iruka feigned inocence, then, when Kakashi grunted, added more serious, "yeah, I figured it out some time ago."

Kakashi was stunned by how lightly he said it.

"How long ago? Exactly?" He narrowed his eyes. Iruka put a hand on his neck, a nervous habit.

"Well... I kind of knew since we became sort-of-friends? But I just confirmed it some months ago," he tried to laugh it off, then extended his forearm to Kakashi's field of sight.

There, in neat letters, was written _Maa, Iruka, I already said I'll finish the reports! No need for violence_.

Kakashi kind of remembered this talk. It was so similar to all the others they had that it was hard to place exactly when this one took place. Iruka had rolled up a magazine and smacked Kakashi's nape with it, saying he would 'beat some sense of responsibility into him if he had to'.

"There are not a lot of people who never hand in their reports and are on a first-name basis with me," he explains, "the 'maa' narrowed it down a lot too."

"...I see," Kakashi was at a loss of words. So his soulmate wasn't a medical-nin like he thought, but a sensei with years of practice in patching up kids and adults alike.

"Yes. Well, I, uh," this was getting more awkward by the minute, "I'll go back to work now. you can take you time before you leave. Eat, take a shower... You can hand all your late reports to someone else later."

Iruka was already getting up to leave when Kakashi hastily grabbed his wrist.

"Wait! Are you leaving just like that? After telling me you knew I was your soulmate for months?"

"Well, I figured you didn't want a soulmate," He smiled, and there was no judgement there, "I wouldn't have told you, either. But, since, you know now, I guess it's okay if you want to put some distance between us," he motioned vaguely to the pillows Kakashi had knocked on the ground in his hurried attempt to leave.

Kakashi couldn't find a good enough answer, so he watched mutely as Iruka made his way to the door and closed it after him.

* * *

Days passed.

Kakashi thought it'd be fine. Iruka have handled everything so well. They hadn't sought each other out and, when they bumped into each other, Iruka was polite but distant. 'Kakashi' went back to 'jounin-san' or even 'Hatake-san'. He didn't act weird or sad either.

So why did it hurt so much?

Kakashi felt like he was missing something. Which made no sense whatsoever, because he and Iruka never were a thing to start with.

Iruka was right, he didn't want a soulmate. Never wanted one. The lingering thought that he would hurt whoever it was or that he didn't deserve any happiness present on his mind since he was a kid.

Yet there he was, hurting and wanting to go after him.

He's better off without me, Kakashi reminded himself once again.

* * *

It took Kakashi almost a month to put his finger in what exactly bothered him so much. He came to two conclusions.

One: Iruka was a good liar.

The scene of him leaving with a smile played again and again in Kakashi's mind, haunting his dreams and following him through the day. It hurt, like being rejected on repeat, nonstop. A cruel thing, really, like his mind enjoyed torturing itself.

But then he payed attention to details, like he should have done since the beginning. Like any good jounin would have done. Iruka left with a smile, and it looked real, but he wouldn't meet Kakashi's eyes. And his tone was too cheerful, as if he was trying to compensate for something.

Every time he bumped into Iruka (accidentally at first, deliberately later), he saw it. The hesitance, the too-happy smile, the eyes wandering around but never quite meeting his eyes. The lingering touches and the sad look on Iruka's face when he thought Kakashi wasn't looking.

Iruka lied to him when he said he was okay with parting ways. Lied when he said he understood Kakashi's wish, when he made it so _easy_ to ignore everything and leave.

Two: Kakashi had grown up.

This one should be pretty obvious, yet it took him weeks of introspection to realize it. He had just... Grown up. Made peace with everything that happened. It still hurt, and he still caught himself sobbing after nightmares or feeling guilty, but he knew, deep down, that it was not his fault. And no one would die just for loving him. It was a childish idea.

He spent years pushing away the idea of a soulmate, but he couldn't picture Iruka dying because of him. He knew Iruka could stand his ground just fine and, even if he couldn't, Iruka was far better than him at reaching out for help.

And Kakashi deserved some love too. He blushed at the thought, but he knew he had to tell it more to himself. He deserved it. Iruka deserved it too, if he still wanted Kakashi after the shitty way he dealed with the situation.

Well, just one way to find out.

* * *

"Oh, hello, Kaka— Hatake-san," Iruka smiled at him, like he always did, that fake yet convincing one.

"Kakashi is fine, Iruka," Kakashi felt bold. Or at least maybe he would if he faked well enough, "I, uh, wanted to talk to you. In private. Mind if I pick you up after you're done working?"

"I—," was Kakashi delusional or was it a faint rosy blush on Iruka's cheeks? "Fine, you can pick me up here in two hours. Sound good?"

"Sounds perfect!" He grinned and with the last of his bravery added, "it's a date then."

Iruka made a choking sound and Kakashi left with the goofiest smile.

* * *

Kakashi's place was different from Iruka's. Tidier, nothing out of place, but with a thin layer of dust on the less used things and too much free space. It wasn't as homey. Kakashi found himself missing the messy couch and thrown around clothes and books.

"So, let me set it straight," Iruka gave him a pointed look, "you decided you want a soulmate after trying to run away and pretending nothing happened for a month. And you want to take me on a date," He briefed.

Kakashi nodded, it seemed like an accurate description. He could unwrap all the insecurities and emotional baggage later.

"Fine," Iruka pressed the bridge of his nose, "took you long enough. I don't even know why I try to make sense of it."

"That easy?" Kakashi was a bit surprised, "I had prepared a speech and everything. Scribbled a half-decent poem," he threw some crumpled papers on the table. Iruka chuckled a bit.

Good. He wanted to see his genuine smile.

"If I wasn't willing to, I wouldn't have bothered to patch you up in the first place," He explained, "idiot," he said as an afterthough, but in the same fond tone he used before.

Kakashi found himself smiling too.

"Well, what about dinner tomorrow then? Anywhere you want."

"Oh, I have a better idea," the smile on Iruka's face was a bit devilish now, "just meet me at my place tomorrow. Let's say... At seven?"

"Deal," Kakashi really shouldn't have ignored the chill on his spine at the evil grin.

* * *

" _That's_ your idea of a nice first date?" He whined, his wrist hurting from writing too much.

" _That's_ your idea of good penmanship?" Iruka retorted, giving him yet another blank report to fill, "We are almost there! Just two more," he said a bit more encouragingly.

"We? What exactly are you doing?" He handed another complete and pristine form to Iruka.

"Moral support," he didn't miss the slight jest on Iruka's voice.

Accepting his fate, Kakashi sighed and prepared himself for a night of writing down mission details he just vaguely recalled whilst Iruka criticizes his calligraphy.

"Don't sulk like that. I have some ice cream in the fridge. We can have it after you're done," he used his slightly-less-stern teacher voice. The one he used to bribe the pests to finish their homework so they could play.

"My hand is killing me," Kakashi said with a dramatic flair, "you'll have to feed me, sweetheart," he mocked, making Iruka laugh at both the exaggerate whining and the sappy nickname.

"You're impossible," Iruka rolled his eyes, which, Kakashi noticed, was not a 'no', "Does it mean you'll go to the hospital now after being stabbed at least?"

"Never," he replied with a grin, "that's what I have you for now, right?"

The glare he received wasn't enough to spoil his sudden good mood.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! It was fun to write. I never thought it'd get this long though. ♥


End file.
